peter lombardy guthrie the third

I'm sick.

I'm a very monotone sickling. no matter how sick (or not) I get, I pretty much veg out the same way. if I feel at all sick, I complain. but if I get any sicker, the complaining doesn't get any worse.

claire and jesse came up to provo for the weekend so jesse could participate in a graduate student aesthetics in writing conference. I chilled with them for most of the afternoon and got to hear jesse read some of his own poetry for the first time. I've been bugging both of them to send me some of his stuff for months now. it was wonderful to hear his poetry. I am impressed. and I love to hear him read it too, he has a good poetry voice. not pretentious at all.

I went to the byu ballet with oceane tonight. it was west side story and romeo & juliet. west side story was fun, but frankly, I wasn't much impressed. the dancers who played romeo and juliet, on the other hand, were incredible. it was just ... beautiful. I could feel the emotion. I've seen better technical work, but not much better soul.

I love the name beatrice in italian. it is such the best.
just like peter lombardy guthrie the third.

I am not much accustomed to fear. I am also not much accustomed to taking things as they come. the fact that I'm doing both is disconcerting, to say the least. I'm not sure what to do about it other than think about it constantly. and wish God would stop trusting me so much and just be explicit.

I wish I had time to write poetry every day.

I wish I had a hundred lifetimes to be everything I've ever wanted to be.
or maybe just one lifetime as a tree. I imagine it would be just as satisfying.