seriously?

okay, utah. this is ridiculous. do you want everyone to hate you? cause if you keep this up, THEY WILL.

woke up to wet road sounds, but didn't realize it was snowing until clémence peeked out the window and said, have you seen the weather? it's a thick wet snow that leaves an inch-thick layer of pure slush everywhere followed by a lovely layer of freezing rain. I do not have the clothes (or shoes) for this. most of my jeans and sweaters and jackets are in storage in celesta's quanset. I kept neglecting to go pick up a pair of jeans and a couple of sweaters for the longest time because I figured, hey, it can't be cold for that much longer, I can stick it out. well, I've been putting up with too-chilly weather for a month now and I've had ENOUGH.

utah. please. I know you need attention and all that, but this is excessive. you need to act your age.

things:
- I'm considering accutane. kind of a scary thought, but I've been reading up on it.
- I feel so uncomfortable in my clothes today. meeehh I hate that feeling.
- I over-match my clothes far too often without even realizing it. it's kind of ridiculous.

- :0 stress

- I keep forgetting how helpful journal-writing is for me. I should remember to do it more often.

I'm assuming most of you are not inundated with snow this day, so I don't even need to wish you a happy day because no snow is the only prerequisite. so you're set.

i'm back

sorry it's been awhile because:

+ the WEDDING! which was lovely lovely lovely and lots of fun. I actually didn't take a single picture with my own camera, so you'll just have to wait for me to get my hands on some more pictures than the few I've been able to scrounge from others. my dresses and shoes looked great, the music joe and I played for the ceremony sounded great, carolyn was beautiful, as was the beach, and the reception, and I had so much fun just dancing and singing and messing around all weekend, meeting people and having a great time. fun love yay!

+ oh my goodness honors - the deadline for portfolio and thesis submission was the friday was gone for the wedding and I wasn't able to get it all done before I left. so essentially, I sent an email and hoped for mercy or else honors wouldn't be happening for me. turns out I got mercy and they gave me an extension on everything - I turned in the portfolio on monday, my thesis proposal today, and my thesis is due on june 1st. so needless to say, I'll be pretty darn busy writing my thesis for the next just-less-than-two-weeks. wish me luck.

+ I like to spend all of my waking hours with my boyfriend. not much of an excuse, but ... it sort of is. sorry.

with several dresses in tow

- utah is ridiculous (often)

- I like my momma. a lot. (in fact, I love her)

- lists are awesome

- so are my corduroy shoes (and my pink ones, but we already knew that)

- urgentcare at the health center was ... not as bad as I thought it would be? sometimes being a woman is crappy.

- wedding! leave on wednesday for carolyn's beach wedding with uke, viola, and several dresses in tow. and that's about it. trying to get it all in one carry-on. wish me luck :)

escapades:

success!

cheesecake extravaganza (woah, that's a weirder word than I remembered)

my coworkers are sillies

setting up the 'recording studio'

me with my crazy long hair (it's about half as short now)

andy - strewn about

packing! (carload 1)

a delightful afternoon with maxwell

our date dinner - we concocted that and it was delicious (and beautiful)

roommates! lesa, alison, me, clemence

sha-ZAM!

stockings and skirts

what if I sang til my vocal chords broke

and I had nothing left but a whispery croak

and my fingers

til the day I died?

and if I shaved off all my hair, just to be free

of it? of them? what then?

and if I peeled off my clothes and left them

in a pile at the old stone wall

and lay in the sand with the tide

licking my ankles and reaching up

to kiss my bare curves as I married myself to the sun?

would you kiss me too?

what if I climbed into the highest tree

I could find,

with wings glued to my shoulder blades,

and refused to come down

for dinner?

or if I packed a suitcase full of shortbread biscuits,

stockings and skirts,

packed it full and dragged it out

to the bottom of the lane

and sat on it til the sun waned -

waiting?

would you bring tea for the biscuits?

what if you walked away from me and disappeared

like a phantom

to shape-shift into someone I never knew?

would bullets hurt you?

or words reach you?

or desperation draw you back to my arms?

would your features haunt me?

or the details taunt me?

- surprise attacks -

on a day I thought I had managed to forget you

- peppery bursts of 'friendly fire'

that take me out at the knees

it's okay

I guess I don't need my knees

one one

putt putt saves the zoo

so I discovered a treasure while I was working in the LRC (oops - media center) last night. I was walking the lab (like I'm supposed to) though not every 15 minutes (like I'm supposed to) and I came across a little stack of lined papers torn from a notepad. on closer observation, it was a stack of children's drawings. I thought they were so awesome that I zoinked them and scanned them all into the computer. and I will use them when I deem them appropriate. cause some of them, I feel instinctively, will be very appropriate. this is one of my favorites:

the zoo!

can you spy - the giraffe, elephant, camel, crocodile, raccoon/lemur/fennec fox, and the caged ... mouse? (not to mention the dead person on the ground - awesome)

laptop dilemmas

(once upon a time there was a tall boy named andy)

(and he loved technologies so much that one day, they posed him a serious problem)

(the technologies that competed for his love offered him many different things so that his poor heart was confounded)

(and he didn't know which to choose to grow old with)

(one played hard to get)

(codename: jetpack)

(one played the sophisticate)

(codename: sony)

(one played the most convenient - though she happened to be the ugliest and held the least appeal - she just wasn't his type, you know)

(codename: transformer)

(in the end, he deliberated so long and so hard that he never could decide)

(his head exploded!)

(so his father's check sat unspent)

(and the computers gave their love to another)

(the end)

(for the record, when his head explodes, it explodes into stars and there is nothing gross at all whatsoever)

also, I love sushi

+ I think it's funny how my brain goes on super-dream-raves where I remember all of my dreams vividly and other times where there's a long lapse where I can't remember anything and it's like sleep is actually restful. and boring.
+ I like the taste of pepto bismol but I've never actually tasted it.
+ I packed up all of my warm clothes and left them at celesta's house because it was supposed to be spring and warm - but it's still wintry and freezing. but I know if I go pick up a jacket and a few sweaters it will immediately become summer.
+ walking around campus looking at the grounds flowers, I really want to pick the pansies and eat them. the fact that pansies are edible and actually really yummy is pretty much the only thing I have retained from achievement days activities.
+ I hemmed my pants yesterday by hand - I felt really handy and awesome. I'm still not sure enough of myself to measure and cut and then hem pants (these ones could have gone even shorter) - as it is, I just refolded where the previous hemline was and sewed it up.
+ andy taught me concepts of computer science and the beginnings of binary and it was actually super-duper fun. math? fun? it's kind of weirding me out. next up - calculus (because I forgot most everything I ever learned about calculus)

goals for creative projects I actually want to spend time on:
- finish edgar mortimer series (and pursue my ideas for 2 other drawing series)
- create a mandala
- try a new medium (watercolors perhaps)
- learn '9 crimes' on the piano
- learn 'dog days are over' on the uke
- play an instrument every day
- and keep writing poetry - finish the latest poem I started
the real way to do all of these is to unpack my last box. I've been wanting to work on all of these things but my poetry notebook, my art supplies and drawing paper are all in the bottom of that box. I should've finished unpacking and decorated my room this weekend - instead I got a haircut (hallelujah) and went to ikea and other fun stuffs.

also, I've had an address change netflix fiasco. hopefully 'my neighbor totoro' will finally get here and everything will be sorted out.

also, I love sushi.

the end.