books
paper
food
family
friends
the past
the internet
photographs
cemeteries
traditions
holidays
haircuts
cute clothes
my IKEA comforter
soap
clean laundry
university
my camelbak water bottle
art
naps
slippers
good movies
music
skirts and dresses
glasses and contacts
advil
stripey socks
ice cream
home
home away from home
hiking
sisters and brothers
road trips
professors
yoga
bubble baths
poems
turtles
trees
11.26.2009
thanksgiving break
I'm still drowning.
why is it that I cannot find peace?
sometimes I can find it within myself
but only sometimes
and then I re-emerge
and it slips away
things are not supposed to be this hard.
and if they are ...
well, someone forgot to tell me.
why is it that I cannot find peace?
sometimes I can find it within myself
but only sometimes
and then I re-emerge
and it slips away
things are not supposed to be this hard.
and if they are ...
well, someone forgot to tell me.
my feminist club
so, the Daily Universe (BYU student newspaper) didn't publish my editorial about saving the BYU Women's Research Institute. well, I guess the editorial was more a concern about the effects the elimination of the WRI will have on students, as well as advice to discuss the issue moderately. and they didn't publish any editorial written by the many many female students who wrote in. they published this, written by a male student:
"It is morally wrong for us to question the judgment of our inspired leaders. Stop crying about the loss of your feminist club. Men seem to be doing perfectly fine without one."
unfortunately, like so many BYU editorials, this man was not trying to be funny or sarcastic. he was trying to get me riled up. and oh did he succeed ...
I don't even want to get into all of this. I have too much to say about this issue. I will just keep it short and simple.
1) I believe the leaders of this university are inspired. but they are not gods. it is my job as an involved citizen of this campus to express my concerns. I don't really expect them to change their minds, but I would be negligent if I didn't raise my voice. and utterly irresponsible if I took every word handed down to me without questioning it in a healthy way. I am not a robot.
2) the WRI is not a feminist club. it is an institution that promotes and houses research centered on women and encourages women to research. it is a critical contribution to important scholarship. also, I certainly wish we had a feminist club. I would join. but this is not it.
3) real men would welcome a feminist club. real men appreciate and encourage powerhouse women. real men want an educated and capable woman. cowards fear the influence of intelligent women - as they should. all men should be feminists - the education and equality of individual women will solve the world's problems.
rant over.
"It is morally wrong for us to question the judgment of our inspired leaders. Stop crying about the loss of your feminist club. Men seem to be doing perfectly fine without one."
unfortunately, like so many BYU editorials, this man was not trying to be funny or sarcastic. he was trying to get me riled up. and oh did he succeed ...
I don't even want to get into all of this. I have too much to say about this issue. I will just keep it short and simple.
1) I believe the leaders of this university are inspired. but they are not gods. it is my job as an involved citizen of this campus to express my concerns. I don't really expect them to change their minds, but I would be negligent if I didn't raise my voice. and utterly irresponsible if I took every word handed down to me without questioning it in a healthy way. I am not a robot.
2) the WRI is not a feminist club. it is an institution that promotes and houses research centered on women and encourages women to research. it is a critical contribution to important scholarship. also, I certainly wish we had a feminist club. I would join. but this is not it.
3) real men would welcome a feminist club. real men appreciate and encourage powerhouse women. real men want an educated and capable woman. cowards fear the influence of intelligent women - as they should. all men should be feminists - the education and equality of individual women will solve the world's problems.
rant over.
11.22.2009
skills update
skills I would like to have someday:
guitar sort of
photography
calligraphy
poetry
sketching
sign language
rock climbing
killing spiders
keeping plants alive other than cacti
folding paper cranes and turning them into mobiles
lying to keep a surprise a secret
listening to a political debate without saying anything
hang-gliding
bird-watching
kissing
hey! making progress
photography
calligraphy
sign language
rock climbing
keeping plants alive other than cacti
folding paper cranes and turning them into mobiles
lying to keep a surprise a secret
hang-gliding
bird-watching
kissing
hey! making progress
11.18.2009
après tout
et si je me trompe ?
exprès –
en fait, j’ignore la vérité
ça peut être toi ?
je ne sais pas
c’est tout dans l’imagination ?
pas moi
je vive entre peur et foi
peur trop vrai
qui m’enlève ma paix
je peux imaginer
maintes choses
qui peindraient ma vie toute en rose
mais enfin
tu es mon destin ?
tu sais, je n’ai aucune idée
je tends la main
mais vois de loin
que tu n’es plus
l’un au dessus
je mens
mais quoi de neuf ?
après tout
11.17.2009
utah gratitude
today's gratitude post is all about utah, because I don't appreciate it enough. though it's a lot easier to appreciate when I know I won't be here anymore pretty soon.
+ utah sky blue. it is incredible. and I've never seen such a vivid blue anywhere else.
+ spoon me frozen yogurt deliciousness
+ proximity to great hiking
+ proximity to the church's center - it really is awesome to be at conference in person etc.
+ proximity to grandpa and celesta & co.
+ being where my dad grew up and where he loves
+ the full moon that comes up over the edge of the mountain and makes everything glow
+ being so close to the temple
+ meeting the friends I live(d) with and love
+ driving in the canyon
+ walking to school in the morning (when it's not too cold)
+ my favorite bus driver
+ being close to claire when she lived in salt lake
+ sangria senorial
+ becoming even more of myself (not that I credit utah with that, but it has hosted many a transformation and for that I must be grateful)
it's a great place. I will be happy and sad to leave. bittersweet is always the order of the day. I am a master of such emotions. anyway, today's utah gratefulness has drawn to a close.
+ utah sky blue. it is incredible. and I've never seen such a vivid blue anywhere else.
+ spoon me frozen yogurt deliciousness
+ proximity to great hiking
+ proximity to the church's center - it really is awesome to be at conference in person etc.
+ proximity to grandpa and celesta & co.
+ being where my dad grew up and where he loves
+ the full moon that comes up over the edge of the mountain and makes everything glow
+ being so close to the temple
+ meeting the friends I live(d) with and love
+ driving in the canyon
+ walking to school in the morning (when it's not too cold)
+ my favorite bus driver
+ being close to claire when she lived in salt lake
+ sangria senorial
+ becoming even more of myself (not that I credit utah with that, but it has hosted many a transformation and for that I must be grateful)
it's a great place. I will be happy and sad to leave. bittersweet is always the order of the day. I am a master of such emotions. anyway, today's utah gratefulness has drawn to a close.
11.16.2009
your fellow fellow
I have yet to turn in an essay to my writing fellow for my humanities class. It was due a week ago. When she returned the papers to the class today, she handed me a letter that said, "Where is your paper young lady?" signed Your Fellow Fellow (we fellows love to say that) with a couple sheets of THIS attached. I laughed out loud in class as I read it. Maybe this is something only writing fellows-ish people appreciate, but I had to share.
Every year, English teachers from across America can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
Do enjoy last year's winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
7. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
9. McBride fell 12 stores, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetables soup.
10. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
13. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
14. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
15. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
16. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
20. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
Every year, English teachers from across America can submit their collections of actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays.
Do enjoy last year's winners:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
6. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
7. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
9. McBride fell 12 stores, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetables soup.
10. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. Instead of 7:30.
11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
12. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
13. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
14. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
15. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
16. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
17. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
18. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
19. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
20. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
11.14.2009
espoir et paix
"par la patience, et par la consolation que donnent les Écritures, nous possédions l'espérance." Romans 15.4
"vous devez marcher résolument, avec constance dans le Christ, ayant une espérance d'une pureté parfaite et l'amour de Dieu et de tous les hommes." 2 Nephi 31.20
"... vous espérez en des choses qui ne sont pas vues, qui sont vraies." Alma 32.21
" et a cause de la douceur et de l'humilité de coeur vient la visitation du Saint-Esprit, lequel Consolateur remplit d'espérance et d'amour parfait, amour qui subsiste par la diligence dans la prière." Moroni 8.26
"il ne demeure pas dans des temples qui ne sont pas saints."
"diligents a garder en tout temps les commandements de Dieu."
"acquiers la paix intérieure et des milliers autour de toi seront sauves." Saint Seraphin de Sarov
"vous devez marcher résolument, avec constance dans le Christ, ayant une espérance d'une pureté parfaite et l'amour de Dieu et de tous les hommes." 2 Nephi 31.20
"... vous espérez en des choses qui ne sont pas vues, qui sont vraies." Alma 32.21
" et a cause de la douceur et de l'humilité de coeur vient la visitation du Saint-Esprit, lequel Consolateur remplit d'espérance et d'amour parfait, amour qui subsiste par la diligence dans la prière." Moroni 8.26
"il ne demeure pas dans des temples qui ne sont pas saints."
"diligents a garder en tout temps les commandements de Dieu."
"acquiers la paix intérieure et des milliers autour de toi seront sauves." Saint Seraphin de Sarov
11.13.2009
cahier de reconnaissance
the first of a few gratitude posts leading up to thanksgiving because 1) I love thanksgiving and 2) I write these down anyway and it's a good thing to share. I started keeping track of gratitudes last winter semester when the going got tough and the only way to put a positive spin on it was to make myself think of 10 good things at the end of the day. then I was in paris and didn't need a pick me up. then I was in toulouse and I did - and since there was no oceane to report to there, I took to writing it down. back in america, I let things slide again until now, when the going's tougher than ever and something needed to be done.
they're not always just straight up blessings, they're just things that make me happy and therefore grateful.
so here are some excerpts from my gratitude notebook
things from toulouse:
- the bishop remembered my name
- I ate taboule with figs in it and it was delicious
- Jacqueline and I do the bise x4 instead of x2
- I wore my bohemian tunic and the old ladies like it
- I ate a banana
- wander-walked
- the mission president's son looks like michael douglas
- lady at the internet cafe didn't make me pay
- cantaloupe
- playing the ukelele
- singing at church
- coldplay - we never change - "I want to live in a wooden house"
- long talks with benjamin and how he's taught me things about myself after a week that I'd not realized my whole life
- saxaphone jazz on the garonne
- goodbye bise from florence
things from this week:
- stephan says I have french hippie style
- still no snowfall in the valley
- where the wild things are
- yoga with the enrichment group
- I ate breakfast
- cassi thought my outfit was really cute today
- got a care package from charlie
- I made the guys at work laugh
- lots of comments on my blog
they're not always just straight up blessings, they're just things that make me happy and therefore grateful.
so here are some excerpts from my gratitude notebook
things from toulouse:
- the bishop remembered my name
- I ate taboule with figs in it and it was delicious
- Jacqueline and I do the bise x4 instead of x2
- I wore my bohemian tunic and the old ladies like it
- I ate a banana
- wander-walked
- the mission president's son looks like michael douglas
- lady at the internet cafe didn't make me pay
- cantaloupe
- playing the ukelele
- singing at church
- coldplay - we never change - "I want to live in a wooden house"
- long talks with benjamin and how he's taught me things about myself after a week that I'd not realized my whole life
- saxaphone jazz on the garonne
- goodbye bise from florence
things from this week:
- stephan says I have french hippie style
- still no snowfall in the valley
- where the wild things are
- yoga with the enrichment group
- I ate breakfast
- cassi thought my outfit was really cute today
- got a care package from charlie
- I made the guys at work laugh
- lots of comments on my blog
11.12.2009
caring sharing every little thing that we are wearing
this post is about my sister claire
because I love her
so much
11.11.2009
sir reginald
the writing fellows have a discussion board on blackboard in which there are some useful forums as well as a miscellaneous posting spot that changes every now and then. things such as - cheese, what to do in the event of a raptor attack on campus, what to name the dinosaur in the writing fellows office - are featured. well, I decided to get my hands dirty and let the wit and humor flow, and here's what I say in regards to naming the dinosaur. this post won me the writing fellows weekly email blackboard shout-out, of which I claim eternal fame and glory.
ahem.
sir reginald
I'm all for naming pets very dignified, incongruent names.
and since our dinosaur is most definitely a friendly dinosaur, I think we should go for a dignified pet name.
in the style of oscar wilde.
for example:
arnold
arthur
oliver
vincent
sebastian
linus
jasper
basil
george
walter
lawrence
... and the like.
the dignity of these names is debatable.
I think I'll put in a personal vote for jasper.
katy (she who holds much writing fellows weekly email power) has dubbed the dinosaur - sir reginald.
ahem.
sir reginald
I'm all for naming pets very dignified, incongruent names.
and since our dinosaur is most definitely a friendly dinosaur, I think we should go for a dignified pet name.
in the style of oscar wilde.
for example:
arnold
arthur
oliver
vincent
sebastian
linus
jasper
basil
george
walter
lawrence
... and the like.
the dignity of these names is debatable.
I think I'll put in a personal vote for jasper.
katy (she who holds much writing fellows weekly email power) has dubbed the dinosaur - sir reginald.
just not good enough
things that make me a perfectionist (a by the book technically I really am I'm not just making this up but probably need to fix some of this perfectionist):
- list of "should's" and "have to's"
- don't want to do things because I'm afraid of failure
- pressure to earn others' approval
- must be the best or 'perfect' in tasks
- leads to procrastination until I have time to do it 'perfectly'
- I measure myself against my own standards
- there is no in between - I am all good or all bad
well, here's the deal.
how is this affecting my life? -- BADLY
how is this affecting the way I feel about myself? -- BADLY
what can I do about this?
well, yes, that is the question, isn't it?
you tell me.
- list of "should's" and "have to's"
- don't want to do things because I'm afraid of failure
- pressure to earn others' approval
- must be the best or 'perfect' in tasks
- leads to procrastination until I have time to do it 'perfectly'
- I measure myself against my own standards
- there is no in between - I am all good or all bad
well, here's the deal.
how is this affecting my life? -- BADLY
how is this affecting the way I feel about myself? -- BADLY
what can I do about this?
well, yes, that is the question, isn't it?
you tell me.
11.09.2009
pets
the african pygmy hedgehog
one for me
the miniature pig
one for carolyn
the fennec fox
and one for claire and jesse
lie. make that two apiece. they all get depressed when they live alone.
and the hedgehog self-mutilates when it doesn't have enough space.
11.08.2009
it's all in the family
umm
I think me and john are absolute twinners
I look more like him than I look like any of my sisters
I didn't ever realize this until oceane pointed it out
I was wondering why this picture looked so deja vu ...
11.06.2009
self portrait
this is the self-portrait I mentioned earlier. again, it probably looks not much like me, but I don't care. here's the original, and then I'm having some fun messing around with it digitally. when I get something interesting pulled together, I'll put it up.
guess what?
You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not
You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
You've been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing
I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power on?
Well, let the drum beat drop
Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not
You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
You've been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing
I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power on?
Well, let the drum beat drop
Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
(art by me,
lyrics by marina and the diamonds)
11.05.2009
not a love poem - oct 27th
this is not a love poem.
this is a poem about cheesecake
an itty-bitty one with a strawberry on top
that I placed very carefully
in your fridge
like that grape juice I got you
that one time.
this is a poem about meaningless movies
that we sat through together
bubbles of anxiety
pretending we weren't guessing
what the other was thinking
every other minute.
this is a poem about monopoly
and speedy-quick die rolls
that saved me
and my railroad conglomerate
from brutal taxation
once upon a party.
this is a poem about salad
and how much of it you ate
incredulous
at my little plate
plenty for my nervous little stomach
that day.
this is a poem about poems
that I wrote and sent
and you absorbed in all their
sweet and delicate
heart-soul glory
every now and then.
this is a poem about me and you.
but it is not a love poem.
don't go
I’m waiting here as long as it takes
or until you tell me to go home
I have made up my mind and it makes
me so sure and so scared of it all
as if the present weren’t hard enough
I’m tangled in my unknown future
and I’m trying so hard to be tough
in the face of taunting facelessness
no one to turn to, I turn to you
knowing you’re not going to answer
at least I'm not letting the hope through
the cloud cover I obscure you with
what would you think if you really knew
all I would give for you if I could?
perhaps you’ve already seen right through
what poor guise I’ve cobbled together
you’re taking it slow
but I just need to know
please dear, don’t go.
11.03.2009
stuff I found out:
- provided I've gotten enough sleep to wake up, I actually work much better in the morning than at night. night just feels like quitting time.
- milk really does make a cold get worse. but I love milk! I love it so much!
- forgetting to eat because you're busy is a vicious cycle. your stomach gets smaller and you get less and less of an appetite.
- I can sleep anytime anywhere, but I'll usually nap lightly. but. that's a big but. but if there's no light on, I will never wake up. never. nope. not ever.
- I am a connoisseur of many things, most notably: tartes aux citrons, pens, and any given season of H&M merchandise. I am also a connoisseur of skechers shoes, but that is TOTALLY AGAINST MY WILL.
- milk really does make a cold get worse. but I love milk! I love it so much!
- forgetting to eat because you're busy is a vicious cycle. your stomach gets smaller and you get less and less of an appetite.
- I can sleep anytime anywhere, but I'll usually nap lightly. but. that's a big but. but if there's no light on, I will never wake up. never. nope. not ever.
- I am a connoisseur of many things, most notably: tartes aux citrons, pens, and any given season of H&M merchandise. I am also a connoisseur of skechers shoes, but that is TOTALLY AGAINST MY WILL.
today's message is brought to you by:
little gandhis
the first day of my life
lyrics:
I swear I was born right in the doorway
I went out in the rain
Suddenly everything changed
They're spreading blankets on the beach
Yours is the first face that I saw
I think I was blind before I met you
Now I don't know where I am
I don't know where I've been
But I know where I want to go
And so I thought I'd let you know
That these things take forever
I especially am slow
But I realize that I need you
And I wondered if I could come home
Remember the time you drove all night
Just to meet me in the morning
And I thought it was strange
You said everything changed
You felt as if you'd just woke up
You felt as if you'd just woke up
And you said "this is the first day of my life
I'm glad I didn't die before I met you
But now I don't care
I could go anywhere with you
I could go anywhere with you
And I'd probably be happy"
So if you want to be with me
With these things there's no telling
We just have to wait and see
Besides maybe this time is different
I mean I really think you like me
-- bright eyes, i'm wide awake it's morning
11.01.2009
story of my life
blogger is being silly. it won't let me upload any pictures and my google analytics isn't registering, so my meter's been running 0 hits for the last two weeks, which I know cannot possibly be true. when I have time to fix it, I will fix it, if anything can be done.
so thursday night I couldn't sleep. I don't know what was going on - I never have trouble sleeping. but I only got 2 and a half hours of sleep. also I hadn't eaten in about 20 hours the next day and I wasn't even hungry. it was very strange. then, friday night, I was sleeping on the couch so oceane and her sister amandine, who was visiting, could sleep in the same room. but I had to wait til curfew then to be able to sleep. then the fire alarm goes off twice and we had to wait outside in the cold ... long story short, I didn't get to bed til 3.30 in the morning. so I got enough sleep that night, but it wasn't very restful because I was so behind, you know what I mean? I got some more good sleep last night, plus the extra hour from daylight savings time, but I'm still on the catch-up :(
I did laundry - huzzah! - and took out winter clothes and tried on other clothes. happy happy day, I can fit into things again that I couldn't wear at the beginning of the semester. I gained about 10 pounds in france and I've lost it all and a bit more, which is very happy indeed. now I just need to start exercising and eating better and I can lose even more. this loss was mostly a transition back to a normal diet as opposed to my diet in france. stress has probably had an impact, too.
I did some drawing the other night, a self-portrait of sorts that I'm pretty pleased with, especially since I wasn't actually looking at myself at all while I did it. it might or might not actually look like me, but that's besides the point.
I went to sunday dinner at celesta's, which was fun, and then had a long talk with her in the car, like we usually do when she drops me off. but now it's late late late (or way early) and I have to write a paper :( blegh story of my life and I am not even kidding. story of my life.
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