work

haha! fooled you. this is not a wedding post. but it's coming, I promise.

I just spent the afternoon on my computer and it kind of drives me crazy. let's see, I looked at Emma Watson's short hair and pondered shorter hair, or purple hair. I researched rain boots and snow boots and did some big-time research on down jackets and waterproof shells, since I will definitely be needing a real winter coat this year. I updated my REI member info. checked email. but seriously - that's it!

some computer things are whims. most of the computer things I do, that take up time anyway, are things that actually need to be done - researching products that we need to get (like vacuums, looking for furniture on ksl, etc. etc.), changing names and addresses in accounts (STILL), repair info for the e-reader, customer support with verizon, car insurance quotes, and so it goes on and on and on. they're important things and Andy is all kinds of grateful that I take care of these kinds of things.

but still ... four and half hours sitting on my couch. I got up to do my hair cause we're going to my freshman reunion tonight and when I walked back into the living room, there's this glorious window with beautiful trees and fall sunshine and fresh air on the other side. and then I remember, like I do every day, that I would much rather have spent the last four hours outside.

I think I put myself to work everyday (to varying degrees, which usually involves ignoring the dishes. I think we both hate the dishes.) and it is important to get things done, but for goodness sake, they'll get done. if it's important, I know I'll take care of it. and if they're not important, and it doesn't get done, then who cares? it's not important.

I'm going to plan out my empty days (which are few-ish anyway) with things that feel like luxuries, like indulgences, like taking the day off of work. I'm going to do the campus tree tour, I'm going to wander with my camera, go spice shopping at winco, bake yummy things and eat them!, play music outside and write more more more things like poems and stories and observations. I'm going to fix my purple skirt and put those boxes of books on the bookshelf and make a yoga bolster and do my Charley Harper puzzle and maybe do those dishes. and hey, maybe half of those things are things that "need to be done" anyway, but it doesn't matter.

the nyquil adventure

try as I might, this has turned into one of those things I feel vaguely guilty about, so I avoid it. kind of like when I go to write in my journal after a writing drought and realize there are so many things I haven't talked about that are important to me, that I want to have written down, but getting it all down is a little tedious.

I've been sick the last couple of days with a nasty sore throat, some aches and pains, and fatigue. stopped off at target last night and picked up a humidifier, vicks vaporub, and nyquil (which I had never had before). we had to show ID to buy the nyquil, which surprised me a little. we get home and andy's opening the humidifier and I'm opening the nyquil and I say, "do people try to get high off of nyquil??" cause the package said something about parents knowing what teenagers are up to. and he says "yes ... there's alcohol in it." then I was reading the medical warnings bit on the side and say "it can cause liver damage??" and he says "yes ... there's alcohol in it." haha I really don't know a thing about nyquil, except that it makes you sleepy sleepy. but seriously - how many freaking nyquils would you have to take to get high? (the internet tells me only six.) I took them (only 2), I slept pretty soundly until 11, and Andy did too. he's probably trying to fight off whatever it is I have and have surely already given him.

I've been doing a lot of reading lately, which is lovely. I recently finished a book of Scottish short stories that I picked up in, surprise, Scotland. Still working on the Discovery of France. Started and finished the Wisdom of Crowds. Andy's working on my Kazuo Ishiguro book right now, so I'm reading Gilead by Marilynne Robinson that Andy's mom picked up for us at the library event - she's coming to speak there, soon, if not already. It's written as an old, rural pastor's journal, or letter, to his very young son, since the man is likely to die soon from a heart condition. Here are some of the quotes that I've liked, that struck me this afternoon while I read on the couch and let my fingernails dry.

"Now, your mother never talks about herself, really, and she never admits to having felt any sort of grief in her life at all. That's her courage, her pride, and I know you will be respectful of it, and remember at the same time that a very, very great gentleness is called for, a great kindness. Because no one ever has that sort of courage who hasn't needed it."

"Not deciding is really one of the two choices that are available to me, so decision must be allowed its moment, too. That is, as behavior, not deciding to act would be identical with deciding not to act."

"He treats words as if they were actions. He doesn't listen to the meaning of words, the way other people do. He just decides whether they are hostile, and how hostile they are. He decides whether they threaten him or injure him, and he reacts at that level. If he reads chastisement into anything you say, it's as if you had taken a shot at him. As if you had nicked his ear."

"There's a pattern in these Commandments of setting things apart so that their holiness can be perceived. Every day is holy, but the Sabbath is set apart so that the holiness of time can be experienced. Every human being is worthy of honor, but the conscious discipline of honor is learned from this setting apart of the mother and father, who usually labor and are heavy-laden, and may be cranky or stingy or ignorant or over-bearing. Believe me, I know this can be a hard Commandment to keep. But I believe also that the rewards of obedience are great, because at the root of real honor is always the sense of the sacredness of the person who is its object."

next post is about the wedding, probably the first of several. get excited :)