even lamer than it looks

I went to d.c. with david yesterday to find and take pictures of a certain "castle" for his movie and find other possible shooting locations. we were going to d.c. so I wore a cute top and trusty flip flops that were comfortable and had never let me down. it turned out to be quite a different day than I expected. we walked probably four miles in the atrocious heat and humidity of a virginia day. I climbed over stinging nettles and fox scat and traversed steep gravelly inclines with difficulty. I got blisters. I sweated buckets. I tried very hard not to complain. I hope david wasn't too annoyed. but it was a pretty miserable day. the saddest thing is that I debated whether or not to wear my keens that morning and decided NOT to. stupid. then, we were finally back at rosslyn to catch the metro and we found a mcdonald's where I was going to get ice cream! the most wonderful and refreshing thing imaginable. we walked in and I asked for vanilla in a cup. the cashier closed his eyes. my brain was at zero functioning capacity, so I had no idea what that could possibly mean. I repeated myself. he looked at me through his metro chic white frame glasses and told me that some "she" had just broken the ice cream machine. I just about dissolved into the floor. so. note to self. do not wear cute things to d.c. wear functional cute things. and never count on mcdonalds. they will fail you. 

claire bear billy bean

I'm already back from utah and claire is married, both of which are a bit hard to believe. claire is cruising through the caribbean at the moment with jesse, so I guess it's real. the utah weather dished up an inopportune 3 days of cold and wind and rain showers for the outdoor wedding reception, but it turned out alright in the end. we got almost all the pictures without rain and the reception went off without any pouring, though I had to follow claire around to keep her dress out of the muddy grass. she was absolutely gorgeous. my family with all 8 siblings hasn't been all together in 10 years, so it was wonderful to be with everybody and take family pictures again. my skin was looking so good, which was very exciting, and needless to say, I've changed a lot in the last 10 years, so I was a little anxious to get something new on the wall. we had a family dinner the night before the wedding at a japanese restaurant, complete with sushi (grilled shrimp was by far the best), soup, salad, potstickers, chicken, shrimp and veggies tempura, and a delicious beef teriyaki. mmmm. and I didn't even feel incredibly full after I ate, even though I ate a ridiculously huge amount. seriously, one good reason to go to france: they know how to stop eating, something I'm hoping to pick up on. carolyn brought john, john brought mary kennon of course, and charles brought elizabeth and they all stayed up at snowbird, where they unfortunately had a couple of bad experiences and kept badmouthing the place, sad considering mom and dad put them up there. they got so much snow up there in the canyon, even at the end of may. ridiculous. it's weird to think of it, but all of my older siblings are part of a couple now. another divider to align me with the young ones. a bit annoying, but I also don't want to be a couple right now either, so I guess it's a tradeoff. I was so busy during the wedding that I didn't take hardly any pictures with my camera, so it'll have to wait until claire gets ahold of the photographer's loot, which I have high hopes for. he seemed to really know what he was doing. anyway, I'm back now after a wonderful time minus the highly stressful flights to and from.

I got a job working at skechers in the mall, ironic considering my universal disgust for those shoes, but it'll pay me and I'll take what I can get. I hope my first real job turns out okay. I also blew sue off in a spasm of mind lapses and forgetfulness. it was incredibly depressing because she'd already been blown off multiple times today and then I went and did it. sometimes I think I'm the worst friend ever. ever. but I guess not, cause I really really feel terrible about it and I plan on bringing her fresh flowers tomorrow (which she loves) which is probably more than all the other stand uppers of the day. I don't know. sometimes just doing what a friend is supposed to do is hard for me and I don't know why. my kids better not inherit this stupid social problem gene that I got from mine. mais tant pis, and it can't be worse than the graff gene.

I've been researching hybrid car prices and comparing them to regular equivalent options, all in pursuit of proving my father wrong, hybrids can be more than green people trophies, they can actually save you money, and I have discovered: buy a Prius. avoid regular cars in hybrid versions like the camry and the civic. it'll take ten years to pay off the price difference, the mileage isn't that much better, and they're just gouging you. GOUGING for going green. the thought is despicable. seriously, buy a Prius. I swear though, every time I talk to my dad these days I feel like I'm defending myself. vegetarians, hybrid cars, my banking accounts and practices, it goes on and on. I'm not sure what we should talk about anymore if we can't talk about real issues. I've never had to patently avoid subjects with my dad. this is kind of upsetting.

i must have a thing for the girlie men

So I went to see Prince Caspian last night. contrary to the Post's review, which seemed to emphasize everything except the magnificent prince himself, I dislike the Pevensie children, their poor acting, poor attitudes, and poor attempts at flirting and/or pretending to be mildly in love with said prince without ever holding an intelligent conversation with him. and I don't like susan's lips. like angelina jolie's. they are not attractive. they are weird. anyway, the film was pretty good, though the dwarf humor was tiresome and the random attempts at divergent personal stories (à la centaur wife) were confusing. and there were a few too many obvious lord of the rings parallels. but of course, we're talking about c.s. lewis here. anyway, I made no joke of it to my parents or anyone else that the real reason to see this movie is the good looks and delectable unplaceable accent of prince caspian. I think my favorite part of the whole movie was Regina Spektor's pure voice and poignant message that trumped anything hollywood could have to say about allegory or god. maybe director adamson knew that Regina had captured the spirit of his film in a way that all of his noble battles and child actors couldn't and let her finish it for him instead of relegating her to the credits no one stays for. here is a Post Style front page blurb that my dad gave me to read. it was too funny and true not to post.

Some of us in the Style section (well, one of us) would like to say something about Prince Caspian's hair, as seen on the head of 26-year-old British actor Ben Barnes in "The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian," which opened yesterday, and can also be seen on movie posters pasted up around town and in newspaper ads. What we want to say about his chestnutty, floppy, feathery, David Cassidy-derived hair -- without having to go through the charade of scheduling an interview with the actor and subjecting readers to the many hundreds of words about conditioners and layering that could needlessly result -- is that we think Prince Caspian's hair looks really, really good. Some of us (well, one of us) would give anything to get our hair to do what his does, especially while wearing a suit of armor on horseback during battle scenes and in other on-the-go situations.

We congratulate everyone involved with Prince Caspian's hair.

That is all.

pims v. oreos final smackdown

it's raining and I love it. I can't believe I just said that. I have always hated the rain but for some reason, ever since I came back from school, I love it. Maybe because utah seems so dismal when it rains, but here, here everything is freshness and birds and misty lights and green green trees. I can't get over how luscious and wonderful everything is. How long have I lived in this oasis without knowing it? I called stephan up tonight to hang out (I called someone! fancy that.) and we went to bloom and bought cookies and then sat on the floor of the benchless gazebo across from my street and enjoyed the rain from a semi-dry spot and talked. it was actually really good. awkward moments are less awkward in person than they are on the phone. he was kind of reluctant to tell me that he's dating someone and at first I didn't know what to think but later we were talking about it again and he was being so adorable about it! I told him so. and now I know what to think. it's just kind of weird that I don't have dibs on stephan anymore. but it's kind of relieving at the same time. we talked about meditating -- how I meditate, how it makes me feel, why I do it, etc. not only do we meditate, we talk about it. this is who we are. probably the best part of the night was when he alluded to the awkward things that Amanda writes on my facebook wall. I asked him to elaborate but he wouldn't and I knew he was thinking of Amanda's post referencing my boobs and how big they are. bwahahah. if stephan could have said that, he'd be ready for the world. alas.

i hate/love money

oh the irony. now I am fighting with my mom. over money. I love money -- it gives me so many of the things that I need and want. seriously, people say you don't need money to be happy, but there are a hell of a lot of things that money can do that lead to happiness. anyway, I have no money and no job and no allowance and I'm not allowed to spend any of my savings. and my parents won't give me any money. that doesn't make a lot of sense to me. so my mom and I had this big blowout over the way I budget (I don't) and balance my checkbook (I pretty much don't) and how I need to get a job and then my parents won't have to spend money on me ever again because I'm an adult. but I've been raised my whole life with my dad pounding it into my head that I need to get a job and save all my money, just put it straight away or else it'll get spent on worthless things. so that's what I actually want to do and my mom is saying I can't, that I'm an adult and need to buy everything myself. I know it sounds like I'm spoiled and don't want to take care of myself, but I actually want to be responsible. I want to save as much money as I can so I can afford to go to Paris next spring, something I am NOT going to give up. I'd like to rely as little on my parents for that as possible. I need to save my money but my parents aren't letting me and won't provide for my basic wants (which are not at all ridiculous or unreasonable). the most frustrating thing of all is that I'm in a bind because I've sacrificed the last four years of job opportunities that would have given me probably twice as much money as I have now. so I'm being put in this stupid situation by my parents when I've sacrificed for them (her). so this pretty much sucks.

I got a haircut. pictures forthcoming. maybe not until after Claire's wedding.

girl's night

tonight I hung out with my mom. it was the best. we ate at Panera and then drove to REI in fairfax to take advantage of their anniversary sale and buy mom some good shoes for her injured feet for mother's day. then we rented August Rush which neither of us had seen (she was incredulous that Lyla would just have sex with some random guy on a roof. I had to remind her that this is a movie where such behavior is justified by the obvious back history these people have and thus translates to non-skank behavior. which of course is not real life) and Becoming Jane. that is seriously one of the best movies ever. it's the only one that's ever been able to make me feel that depth of pain and sorrow even though I've never felt love like that. it makes me want to write again. I really should, but I don't know how to go about it. I have no idea what to write about. Jo learns that you have to write about what you're familiar with. but I really don't want to write about mormons. I could write about my family. or high school. or college but my college experience is pretty boring. I haven't travelled. I've never been sufficiently in love -- romance writing, that would be a disaster. I just have no idea. maybe I should just sit down and write without stopping for twenty minutes and see what happens. I'll let you know how it goes. anyway, I haven't spent a single summer with my mother since middle school and even though may isn't really the summer which I'll be spending away from her again, it was still really nice to be with my mom. we should do this every week.

that was actually on the 10th but the post messed up the spacing and I couldn't fix it and since I just couldn't handle it, I deleted it and reposted. and now it worked. computers are crazy.

L.A.CaliforniA.

school's over!! and I just vacationed in California for a week. it was pretty sweet. the beach is absolutely amazing. I really don't understand why my family doesn't like the beach. I'm going to live in France on the west coast and own a beach house on the southern coast. it's a plan. anyway, the weather was beautiful. the food and shopping and activities were all good. if you're ever in santa barbara, treat yourself to the Venezia pasta at Pascucci's. it was worth the accidental overcharge of thirty bucks. they'd better have straightened that out by now, I gave up checking. grades weren't as good as first semester, but I still have a chance of keeping my scholarship so I'll keep crossing my fingers. why are my worst grades this year in french? that makes absolutely no sense. it's frustrating, but understandable. I still haven't learned good study skills. IB gives students good writing and research and reading skills, but absolutely no study skills. just procrastination skills which I still proudly and regretfully use today. but I am FINALLY home to virginia, my family, friends, and trees. my dog is more boring than I remember her being, but still just as cute when she sleeps and just as skinny. she's like miniature deer spawn. church was sufficiently comfortable and awkward. the first words out of amanda's mouth were "Your boobs are HUGE!!", predictable given amanda's preoccupations and my unexpected growth, probably due to the lack of exercise and change in eating habits of my recent college sojourn. I saw stephan again for the first time in two and a half years. that was ... interesting. he says it's like nothing's changed, which is weird, cause I feel like I've changed 20 billion times over. am I still that immature? we need to hang out so I can determine if it is possible to talk to him face to face like I've talked to him in writing for years. I'm prepared for the worst, but I don't think anything could rival the awkwardness of our phone conversations, so I'm not too worried. I went to the YOPW closing concert yesterday afternoon, their tribute to Mrs. Taylor. I was extremely emotional since it was kind of her funeral for me, but the music was amazing. I've played in groups where I sounded good but listening to the performance was painful to say the least, so I always kind of doubted that we were ever any good. but yesterday, yso was so awesome, I can proudly say that I used to be amazing. it is a very satisfying discovery. now I'm job-searching and it's not going so well. I don't know if I'm going to find anything, but my parents think it's a given. I guess we'll see, but for now, I'm just chillin' at home and doing errands with my mom cause amanda and sue & co. are still in school. but even if they weren't, I'd be doing that stuff anyway. that's just what I do.

I apologize for this scattered post. I'll try to be more focused next time.