amanda's texts are hard to read

today me and amanda had a furious text messaging argument. seriously, I would be trying to answer her, tapping away as fast as I could, only to be interrupted by the arrival of two more messages. it was just as bad as a real-life argument except worse, because when we're talking face to face I can't see the rampant miss-spellings. then finally, she just called me and we could really argue. it was wonderful - I love arguing, it's so enjoyable. I love the feeling of triumphant logic, it's so fulfilling.

so we were arguing about medicine and medical care. if I am in serious condition, yeah I'll get some help, but usually I even refuse basic medicine and just suck it up and wait it out. I take advil and sudafed and that's about it. except for my acne medication. which is what took us to acutane . amanda says both that I should drop all medicinal regimen and go back to simple, basic treatment and that I should go to the other extreme and take acutane, the most powerful acne drug ever invented ever. you know, the one that liquifies babies, triggers depression, causes spontaneous nosebleeds and removes the outer layer of your face. yeah, that one. 

not that I have a baby to liquify or anything, but I am not going to put something that toxic into my body. who knows what it's doing to the rest of my internal organs? also, I know it doesn't cause depression in everybody who takes it, but I have a genetic history of depression and triggered depression. I know what depression can do to a person, and I am not about to take risks with my mental health. that is not something I want to have to struggle with every day of my life. 

I really do want to go all natural, or more natural, or a little bit natural, in regards to my acne, but I'm just too scared to do it right now. I've probably tried more than ten different skin care regimens, and when I say tried I mean given a good year of trying, and they've all stopped working. my face would be the worst it's ever been and I could not imagine it being any worse, but every time it gets far worse. if I've found something that works for me for now, I'm not going to stop. you can say all you like what works for you and what I shouldn't be doing with my skin, you can spout and spout, but I'm not going to give you the time of day until your face has looked as bad as mine has. until you've felt as awful as I have. cause I've heard it all already.

man, this got all depressing. the argument wasn't all heavy and poetic, it was actually pretty fun.