tittles

yesterday, while eating lunch in the park
(with some bum sitting on the bench next to me
and everyone else lighting up. I'm trying to eat here, people)

sometimes, people are difficult to talk to. they don't say much or respond much and I'm casting around for things to say and it sounds like so much meaningless air coming out of me. but still, whenever I've just plowed through an hour of me talking and them looking bored, they always seem surprised and a little disappointed when I say I have to go and want to know when I'm coming back. I guess it makes a difference, just being there. it's hard to know when to leave, though.

isn't it funny how you never know what random things about you are secretly grossing people out? and since whatever grosses someone out is sure to differ with every person, you never know. cause people are grossing me out all the time. maybe I'm the odd one out here ...

I don't want to spend the money, but I really need to get a cell phone. it's not very safe to not have one.

I want to visit mathias & drew in marseille, because it looks so bright and ethnic and full of character. and kryn was there. I want to see where kryn was.

it's kind of a blessing that every store I go into, nothing fits me right. the soldes are going on and I could be spending up a storm.

I think I'm compelled to write down all these little thoughts because I have no one to say them to and I need to communicate somehow, even if it's just this.

I think I always smell like cigarette smoke. I'm really tired of all the smoking.

there's a triangle of the back of my neck that's about 10 shades darker than all the rest of my body. because it's never seen the sun before, I suppose.

things about France:

- doors open and close the opposite direction
- crutches look like old people & cripple crutches instead of our under the arm kind
- there's dog poop everywhere. it's disgusting.
- leisurely bikers in the city
- trashcans are just bags, no cans
- birkenstocks are back, as are loose-fitting, long, bohemian clothes
- nastified creepy leerers are everywhere
- babies in strollers everywhere, as well as mothers & fathers w/ their kids
- also banks & ATMs everywhere
- women are always well-dressed, but neglect their hair
- the walk/don't walk of pedestrian crossings doesn't flash in warning. it just switches.