things

1. I bought things and now feel incredibly guilty for spending money. I like the things, but the guilt. oh the guilt!

2. oh how I wish I had the luxury of being job-less and concentrating on my schoolwork. I can't even imagine what I would do with an extra 15 hours or so a week. maybe dance in leaf piles and sing in the parking lot, for starters. in celebration of the 15 extra hours. I could do all of my readings in that time! I could write 3 or 4 papers in that time! I could - gasp! - make a sandwich to bring to school! just the thought is making me tear up.

3. the temptation to give up on all this is hitting me hard tonight. but the moods change so rapidly, I should probably just give it a couple days. that and a psych appt. tomorrow. I don't even know how useful that is though. every appt. I have all of these epiphanies about myself, but every week, nothing seems to change.

4. I did some art on saturday night. experimented with some charcoals and pastels.

5. I need a haircut SO BAD, but have neither the time or money to spend on it.

6. and hey! I forgot to upload my pumpkin pictures. which I still can't do at the moment, blogger's having some uploading issues (annoying ...) but the pumpkin is my small tribute to where the wild things are. then, like 5 days later, it was completely filled with mold, which kind of freaked me out. imagine what a strange strain of mold like that would do in your lungs ...

remind me to post about where the wild things are

7. stake conference was today and, considering how good it was, I don't understand why I feel so down.

8. I was the chef for french house dinner tonight. the lentil soup (yum!) and rosemary potatoes were a big hit, and the pumpkin pies with homemade whipped cream that I delivered to the apartments after the evening session of conference were much appreciated. sometimes the simplest things can make people so happy and I love how it makes me feel.