coming to an end

so I'm down to counting the lasts of my freshman year of college.  last saturday night.  last testimony meeting.  last ward prayer.  last french class. last review session.  last test (not there yet though).  and eventually last time being in my apartment with some of the best friends of my life.  I seriously came to school expecting the worse.  I set up all of my defense mechanisms -- I was spotlessly clean, I went to bed early, I was civil but quiet and very determined to build barriers.  but Michelle talked incessantly, about many unimportant things, and more than made up for my lack of conversation.  I spent the first month telling Sue that I didn't think I was ever going to hit it off with this girl.  and somewhere in there, something  happened.  maybe it was late nights and movie nights and running to class together and printing out papers.  maybe it was worry for her.  maybe it was all the sex talks and crying and laughing at ourselves.  I don't know what it was exactly, but I really love that girl and I'm going to miss her so much.  and that goes for Rach and Jessica and Shantel and Rebekah too.  I know french housing is going to be an adventure, but a pretty big part of me wishes I had a whole other eight months to relive this all over again.  The Scientist says "let's take it back to the start", but the start was kind of hard.  I just want to live perpetually in the middle of it all.  I spent the last two days making a pretty awesome slideshow, if I do say so myself, of all of 127's pictures and videos.  I guess the final viewing with all of us is kind of ruined for me, since I made it, and I've already cried through the second half, but I don't know -- no matter how many times I tell myself I'm not going to cry, it always happens.  I learned lots of things at college, but the thing I might value the most is learning how to cry.  bittersweet, always bittersweet goodbyes.  we've gone our own ways and I know it's for the best, but sometimes I wonder will I ever have friends like you again?  good quote, but also stupid.  of course I will never have friends like them again.  they are them and no one else can ever rival that.