busy busy busy

wow I have neglected you all ---

but I have REASONS!! important REASONS!! for this:

- my family arrived

- I graduated. with my momma. it was fun :) (pictures to come forthwith)

- dinner at yamato. heavenly.

- I packed all of my stuff in an amazingly concise way and packed it into the van even more amazingly

- I said good-bye to my most excellent boyfriend who I love, which was really hard to do, and rode for 5 days across the country with dad and charlie

- spent less than a week at home doing all kinds of productive things, like living at ikea, and completely scouring "my" car, inside and out, just so it could be taken to the shop, because it's dying and I don't get to drive it after all ... the car situation needs a remedy. quick.

- I spend time every day looking for cheap flights so I can once again see my most excellent boyfriend who I love. in case you weren't sure, in case you were wondering, long distance relationships are not fun. believe me. it hasn't even been 2 weeks yet.

- I moved all my stuff into my (abundantly shared) house and built a bunch of furniture with my momma. we were awesome. until it came to the dresser knobs. those knobs kicked my trash. I gave up. so there's still 2 loose knobs. fiends.

- today I had new student orientation for gspia (graduate school of public and international affairs) which was very interesting and informative, but long and I'm exhausted and came home and accidentally slept for 5 hours.

school starts on monday. I will soon share pictures of all of these exciting events, and some of pittsburgh, as soon as I do anything other than grocery shopping. I think I will be doing a lot of exploring on my own because I want to get to know this city. there's an outdoor art festival tomorrow I will hopefully make it to, for starters - a good chance to explore shadyside.

p.s. I really really really need a good job. any job. but hopefully a good job. prayers and job offers would be nice.

p.p.s. I live in squirrel hill. it is cozy and jewish and old and I like it already.

okay, scrap the postscripts, I have more things to say.

I'm getting old :( I've started getting motion sickness over simple things, like reading on the porch swing (yes - I have a porch swing!) pretty soon I won't be able to take roller coasters. this is depressing.

you remember those sandals I superglued? well, they're still awesome. and don't give me blisters - huzzah - as I start exploring this city.

almost goodbye

it is really hard to believe that utah is almost over. everything is happening so fast and slow.

- I turned in the final copies of my thesis for binding, all fixed up, edited again, printed and signed. oh hallelujah.

- there's a fiasco with my senior seminar class not accepting the OPI I took in the spring, so we'll see what happens with that. in my life, there is always a fiasco with something.

- I still don't technically have a place to live in pittsburgh. I have a couple of options I've been looking at, but just this morning I finally got in contact with some people from the ward and it looks like I'll have a small room for very cheap, living with the relief society president and one of her counselors. so, a cheap place with good people in a good neighborhood. it's not all set, but I think this is going to work out and I'm so relieved.

- me and andy are still scrambling to do some last minute things we've been wanting to do. also trying to spend as much time as possible together. I am so not excited to be away from him.

- the family arrives! tomorrow!

- also, I'm going to the zoo :)
:) :) :) hooray

saturday mornings in the wilk

don't mind if I do ...

poem-trees

refound this poem of a couple months ago
I actually neglected to date it
but it came after the poem of february 19th
and before the poem of may 7th
so it must be somewhere in there ...

~

one hand in the trees
one hand on your heart
it's a long stretch across this vast unknown
my fingers traverse mist and cloud
through my tomb and shroud
and stream
until they reach that quickening beat
your gentle skin heat
beneath your breast pocket.

one hand in the trees
one hand to the east
where the birdsong happens to call my name
on the weary wind's last protest
an ancient caress
and sigh
until it eases into my lungs
a breath that beckons
with each quiet exhale.

one hand is reaching
the other's in yours
my joints can't take the pressure much longer
over this still-widening crack
that never goes back
to smooth
but lingers like harsh words or a song
that doesn't belong
whose notes still hang in the air.

~

a snippet:

is that really me, that whirlwind
that flies in the wind
and flings to the ocean
and trails in the field
- her joy?

john wayne gacy jr

his father was a drinker
and his mother cried in bed
folding John Wayne's t-shirts
when the swingset hit his head

the neighbors, they adored him
for his humor and his conversation
look underneath the house there
find the few living things, rotting fast
in their sleep all were dead

twenty-seven people, even more
they were boys, with their cars
summer jobs
oh my god
are you one of them?

he dressed up like a clown for them
with his face paint white and red
and on his best behavior
in a dark room on the bed he kissed them all

he'd kill ten thousand people
with a slight of his hand
running far, running fast
to the dead

he took off all their clothes for them
he put a cloth on their lips
quiet hands, quiet kiss
on the mouth

and on my best behavior
i am really just like him
look beneath the floor boards
for the secrets i have hid

john wayne gacy jr.
sufjan stevens

it's a creepy song, filled with so much sadness, and it's been on my mind.

you think it's so baffling, so impossible, how someone could do such evil. how do you go from a sweet little boy to a serial killer? how can he have changed so much?

but we all have seen it, in milder terms - the change in someone that happens so gradually you barely recognize it until there's a moment, down the road, when that person says or does something and it jars with who that person was to you and it becomes profoundly clear - you realize, with a pang, that person is gone. they chose, a little bit at a time, to become someone else. and you cannot bring them back.

this conversation makes me happy

gregoryh40: hey christina

moi: hiya

gregoryh40: guess what

moi: what?

oo oo i know

you're not a robot

gregoryh40: dang it how did you know

moi: i'm skilled like that :)

gregoryh40: we get the haight's dog Sadie for THREE WEEKS

moi: when?

why?

jealousss

that little pooper is adorable

gregoryh40: yup and mom says she can sleep with me but dad says she can't

moi: she can sleep with ME!

cause i'm not allergic

or we can take turns, how bout that?

gregoryh40: are you coming home?

---

moi: mbye

gregoryh40: wuz that a maybe or a bye

moi: it was a mmm

and a bye

together!

at last!

gregoryh40: okay BYE!! :D

hep hep hep

friendly friends that frequent my blog - (because the people who zip in, mostly from foreign countries, for only 5 seconds, or even milliseconds at a time, I love you and wish you would stay but I'm going to be realistic here) -
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