a tisket a tasket

hmmm it's been quite awhile.

dream from my sunday afternoon nap:

me and carlos were video game characters. or maybe we were creatures from some anime tv show. I don't know. I kept on trying to sing pocahontas songs and he knew them better than I did. I also carried around a gallon of spoiled milk. blegh.

last sunday I spoke in sacrament meeting and it turned out to be really amazing. the spirit was really there, and that's the only thing I wanted. I was the first speaker and it set a good tone for an incredible sunday. they didn't ask me to speak until tuesday night, so I was worried I wouldn't have enough time to ponder things during the week, but it turned out alright in the end.

I spent friday and saturday at celesta's. I stayed up friday night looking at old photo albums with celesta and finishing my woodcut put-together owl (aside: I bought it at the creamery thursday night and sangria too of course walking home from orchestra/stats homework cram late at night, thoroughly angry that no one could come pick me up because I never ask for help and the one time I need help NO-one answers their phone. anyway, I bought it to make me feel better and it totally worked). then saturday we went to see savior of the world at the conference center -- I was thoroughly impressed. it was very spiritual and beautiful. just wonderful. I'm so glad celesta got my ticket for me, cause if I'd had to pay for it myself I wouldn't have gone. 

we got back late so I had to dash to david's to panda express where we were supposed to eat cheap but we must have been confused about something because we definitely paid full price. sad. I totally scarfed my food and then we ran RAN to the hfac to get to the play on time. it was actually a crazy fun adventure running through the tanner building. the play was dancing at lughnasa and it was amazing. very sad and very beautiful. well done. it was in a tiny little theater with 3-sided seating and the actors moved about a lot. the set was awesome.

I am getting fatter and it is very upsetting. I need to exercise more and ... stop eating frosting. etc. 

last night was so so fun. we (oceane, david, stephanie, me, abe, gina and carlos) all crammed in the elevator and chilled there for like an hour eating a whole chocolate frosting container, taking the color code quiz, and just being incredibly ridiculous and having the funnest time ever. then we went deer chasing in abe's car, but we didn't find any to chase. sad. he did try to drive through a field and over this crazy dirt hill. it was ridiculous. I didn't go to bed til 3 am so I needed a long nap this afternoon. 

I should be at an honors fireside tonight for extra credit, but I just couldn't get myself to get dressed and walk to campus. I am going to bed early tonight. that is a solemn promise.

all of my jeans are getting holes in them. but they don't fit me too well anyway anymore. no more frosting.

a monday night

me, abe and carlos just had a hugely long and intense political debate. well, not so much political. more thematic, ideological. abe's conservative, carlos is liberal and I'm a moderate. we went from economic policy, immigration, taxes, and welfare institutions to the war in iraq, innocent casualties of war, when war is justified, the u.s. policing role in the world, etc. it was really intense. intense as in I couldn't sit and do my homework so I had to go participate. I can't refuse a good debate.

it's hard, because some things I agree with carlos on, but on some things I don't think his logic always holds and some things I think he's too idealistic and not realistic. abe is also sometimes too pragmatic, I think, and not always willing to accept incredible facts that contradict his ideology. but this debate really helped me see on which issues I lean more left and which more right. I'm definitely economically conservative. most of the time, it was good respectful debate, but towards the end it got pretty heated and, much as I love debate, I was feeling that tension in my chest. so when we ended, I gave them both hugs and told them to spread the love.

and really, that's the end result of all of this political debate anyway. we will do some things wrong when we're trying to do right and I don't think I can or want to be in a position to have to make judgment calls on that. I want to help people on an individual basis where I know that the things I am doing are right in a much more clearcut way than I could judge the effects of national decisions. I know that teaching hygiene to this woman and her children in senegal is going to help them be healthier and hopefully live longer. and be happier. and that's pretty clearcut to me. I can't wait for christ to rule on the earth, when there will be no pain or suffering like this. or war. or starvation. or injustices. until then, I'm going to do my best to start moving in that direction one tiny step at a time. one person at a time. we're all worth it.

also, we had fhe at bro. hyatt's house tonight. only 2 of the spanish boys came, 3 of the russian girls, and me and susan from the french, and we spent a long time there, but it was a wonderful relaxing time. we had a good lesson that we all participated in from preach my gospel and then the boys had to leave for their cleaning check and we girls stayed and talked about so much fun stuff with the family. it was such a cute family - oldest son 16, then 3 girls, then the youngest boy 5. the way they all interacted with each other was great, particularly the oldest brother towards all of the others.haha he told us some of his pickup lines and we approved - he is definitely not a creeper. the little girls were kind of enraptured by us. their home had a wonderful spirit about it - I want my own home to be like that. and I want to raise my sons to be like that. we kept saying goodbye at the door and then kept talking. it was obvious we wanted to stay. I hope they understand why.

president obama

well, we have a new president.

can I just say right now how freaking excited I am?!? the night of the election, I started watching cnn at 5pm and stayed up til past midnight. it was pretty much a landslide and it was pretty much incredible. virginia finally went blue for the first time since 1964, which is way exciting. in fact, if obama had lost every other swing state but gotten virginia, he still would have won. we pulled through! mccain's speech was very good, much more reminiscent of the pre-campaign mccain, the one I respected. obama's acceptance speech was incredible. I expected a little more of the first black president emphasis, but he downplayed it for some reason and cancelled the scheduled fireworks at the end. I know he's not perfect, I know he's going to make mistakes, but for the first time in a long time I trust the leader of our country, what he says and what he does. I believe he has pure motives and good morals and that he won't take immoral shortcuts to get to his worthy ends. we have a lot of problems to fix in this country and it's going to be hard, but I really believe that he is our best hope.

the more I read about palin, the more I am disgusted with her. if that woman thinks she has any hope of a future in national politics, I swear. the fact that she does and the fact that people will actually support her bid for future federal positions, that's what's ridiculous. though I suppose I should thank her, being the emphatic downfall of mccain's campaign and all. she wanted to give a pre-concession speech, but was flat-out refused(I think everyone in that campaign hated her). thank goodness.

I wanted so badly to be in virginia on election night to party it up with the streets full of people who were so so happy. instead I was in utah, so I found carlos and we ran to the creamery and bought sangria to celebrate and ran around the flsr pounding on doors and shouting. and then it started snowing and it was magical. I called my mom and at the end of our conversation, I asked her what she thought about the election, cause I was so excited and didn't have anyone to talk to about it, but she got pissed off and asked if I was going to gloat. I guess she's more extreme than I thought. I love that my dad's a moderate.

a black man is our president. and a qualified, inspirational, uniting and moral man at that. and millions of people from all ages, races, colors and backgrounds believe in him and what he can do. and I think that's pretty amazing. I am proud that one day I will be able to tell my children that I helped elect him.

guy fawkes day

remember remember the 5th of november

the gunpowder, treason and plot.

I see no reason why the gunpowder, treason

should ever be forgot.

Today, however, is a day, sadly, no longer remembered. So, I thought we could mark this November the 5th by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. Of course, there are those who do not want us to speak. I suspect, even now, orders are being shouted into telephones and men with guns are racing to this station. Why? Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words are the means to meaning, and for some, the annunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense. Fear got the best of you, and in your panic you turned to the now high chancellor. He promised you order, he promised you peace, and all he demanded in return was your silent, obedient consent. Last night I sought to end that silence. Last night I destroyed the Old Bailey, to remind this country of what it has forgotten. More than four hundred years ago a great citizen wished to embed the fifth of November forever in our memory. His hope was to remind the world that fairness, justice, and freedom are more than words, they are perspectives. So if you've seen nothing, if the crimes of this government remain unknown to you then I would suggest you allow the fifth of November to pass unmarked. But if you see what I see, if you feel as I feel, and if you would seek as I seek, then I ask you to stand beside me one year from tonight, outside the gates of Parliament, and together we shall give them a fifth of November that shall never, ever be forgot.

who was he?

he was edmond dantes ...

and he was my father.

and my mother ...

my brother ...

my friend.

he was you ...

and me.

he was all of us.

(v for vendetta)

why am I doing this?

spell your name with songs:

Caring is creepy - the Shins

Hymne à l'amour - Josh Groban

Rootless tree - Damien Rice

I'm yours - Jason Mraz

Sur la route - Emily Loizeau

Trolleywood - Eisley

I don't know what I can save you from - Kings of Convenience

Nothing better - the Postal Service

Arc of time - Bright Eyes

Hey jude - Beatles

I will follow you into the dark - Death Cab

Let it snow! - Bing Crosby

This time tomorrow - the Kinks

Oh no - Gogol Bordello

News - Jack Johnson

shoes I wore today: black flats

perfect pizza: hawaiian

best physical feature: gonna have to say ... my boobs, legs close second

most missed memory: governor's school

adidas or nike: adidas

chocolate or vanilla: depends on my mood

smoke: no

curse: sometimes

sing: always

dance: often

take a shower everyday: most days, sometimes more than once

have a crush: nope

think you've been in love: NO

want to go to college: already there

liked high school: later years were better, but I loved it

want to get married: yes

get motion sickness: only from crazy drivers

think you're attractive: usually

think you're a health freak: in theory, yes.

get along with your parents: yes

age you hope to be married: 25-27

number of children: 3-4ish

dream wedding: washington d.c. temple, simple, classic, part indoors part outdoors, fall

opposite sex:

best eye color: brown

best hair color: dark

short or long hair: not short. medium.

height: tall very tall but not tall enough to make me feel like a child. that's creepy.

the past:

ever thrown up in public? elementary school classroom trash can

passed out from alcohol? no

what's on your mind right now? barack OBAMA first black president AWESOMOSITY!!!!!

the future:

what kind of home would you like? small, simple, stylish, foreign

what do you want to be when you grow up? someone who helps people and makes a difference

where do you see yourself in 5 years? in europe. dating.

do you like candy necklaces? no

when was the last time you fell over or ran into something? today

do you listen to music every day? yes

do you still go trick or treating? no

what was the last thing you ate? a spoonful of double chocolate frosting

favorite type of soda? orangina and sangria senorial

have you ever moved? twice but I can't remember

have you ever won an award? plenty of times.

are you listening to music right now? no

how long til your birthday? presque 3 mois

when were you the saddest in your whole life? death of grandparents and president hinckley

what time is it? 11.05 pm

do you use ebay to buy or sell? buy sometimes

who makes you mad? chauvinists, ignorants, racists

have you ever heard a song written about you? yes

something you want to happen in 2009? go to france

summer 2009? travel europe

what color is your underwear? white

what's on your mind? OBAMA

what are you doing right now? wasting time.

have you done something bad today? no

who is the last person you talked to on the phone? my mom

are you jealous of someone right now? nope

what makes you mad most of the time? idiots, men

do you bite your nails? never

are you keeping a big secret now? yes, but it's not mine

do you get up in the middle of the night and eat? never

do you like anyone? no

does anyone like you? I think so

what do you do when you're mad? rant, yell, listen to music, write

what's the worst thing you've done when you were mad? um... wrote a list of all the things I hated about amanda and gave it to her

ever made anyone cry when you were mad? I think so

do you swear when you're mad? yes

when was the last time you actually cried? don't know. not very often

ever cried yourself to sleep? yes

do certain songs make you cry? yes, damien rice, always

what usually makes you cry? some books, some movies, some songs

a picture that makes you happy right now:

peter peter pumpkin eater

david le beau told me I would make a good pumpkin (?) so I had mom bring the old childhood pumpkin costume with her when the family came for the weekend. it was pretty much the most amazing cute costume ever. I even wore it to my stats class. I surprise myself. I did it mostly for my roommates; they told me it was so adorable and really wanted me to wear it to school, so I did!

this weekend was so wonderful -- mom, dad and the lil bros flew in and claire and jesse drove up for victoria's baptism. I can't remember having bad experiences with my family, but this weekend was unflawed. I was just very content and at peace with my family and I loved it. victoria's baptism was just wonderful -- she has really become such a sweet little girl. not that she wasn't sweet before, but she's got past the age that's hard for me to handle. we had so much fun!! now I can't wait until christmas.

dots

here is my entry for the take out photo october monthly special. this month's theme is dots. I'm doing this way last minute (night of the 31st) but I'm just glad I got it done.

EDIT: oh yeah, these incredible photos are all courtesy of a very talented photographer at sMacThoughts. she's amazing.